If you’re over 60 and thinking about dating again – maybe toying with it as a New Year’s resolution – this article is for YOU, loves!
Whether it’s been a few years or a few decades since your last love, it might be time to get intentional. No more winging it, hoping for chemistry, or letting fate decide your fate.
Getting ready to date again means becoming emotionally ready, rebuilding confidence, and setting new relationship goals that align with the kind of person you are today.
As a dating coach for women over 50, I spend a ton of time getting my ladies READY to date in a way that is effective and fun.
Here are the 10 things I want every mature woman to do before she dives back into the dating scene:
1. Be Able to Tell the Story of Your Relationship History as One of Growth and Learning
You can’t build a new romantic relationship if you’re still judging or harping on your previous ones. Every past relationship – good, bad, or complicated – was a classroom. Practice telling your story as one of evolution.
“Here’s what I learned about communication.”
“Here’s how I learned about what I actually need.”
That way, when you meet new people, you’re not replaying or projecting your past hurts; you’re sharing the wisdom you’ve gained. It’s honest, and it puts you in good light.
If you still feel confused about what you’ve learned from past relationships try this Exercise.
2. Make Sure Old Partners Are Out of Your Physical and Energetic Space
Clear the decks. Delete the number, take down the photos, pack up the keepsakes. And yes, that includes the “just-friends” ex who still texts on birthdays.
Here are additional tips of really detoxing from a former partner when ties need to be cut: Divorce Detoxification.
If you’re widowed, your task is a little different: connect with your departed love, receive their blessing, and honor that love by opening your heart again.
3. Fall in Love with Your Body
Your body tells your story. You don’t have to look 20, but you want to feel good about it, and you want to feel free and vital.
Put down the shame I discussed in Is Body Image holding you Back?
Move your body because it feels good. Invest in self-care – from your morning walk to your skin care routine – because confidence starts from how you treat yourself. It’s silly how much of a difference loving being in your own skin helps with dating.
Before you date again, you’ve got to know who you are and what you want – in your head, heart, and hoo-ha.
- What’s going to be practical for you and make your head happy?
- What makes you feel safe and your heart happy?
- What do chemistry and attraction mean to you?
The 3H Chart helps you name your non-negotiables and desires clearly for EACH H, so you stop wasting time on mismatches.
5. Once You Have Your List of Desired Attributes, Come Up with Your Questions
You can’t find out who someone is without an intention to do so. You’ve got to be curious and prepared. Once you’ve got your list of desired traits, come up with questions that reveal whether your dating partners actually live those qualities.
If you value emotional maturity, ask how they handled a recent conflict. If generosity is on your list, ask what they are to go-to-person for in their friend group.
Here are 10 must-ask questions.
6. Work on Your Mindset
If you believe all the good men are taken, or that love is only for the young, you’ll subconsciously prove yourself right. When you catch a limiting belief, challenge it. Find counter-evidence. (“Wait, I do know a couple who met at 60 and are thriving.”)
The love you attract mirrors your mindset. Emotional readiness and a positive mindset are the foundation of all healthy relationships.
7. Refrain from Negative Talk
No more girl-talk marathons about how dating is awful or how “men are trash.” That energy repels exactly what you say you want.
Speak hope. Speak humor. Speak faith in yourself.
Positive language signals emotional availability and opens the door to new experiences and meaningful connections.
8. Research and Pick One or Two Sites That Feel Right for You
Find one or two dating apps that attract the kind of intentional, emotionally intelligent people you want to meet.
Read reviews and ask friends or family members. I’ve already done the homework for you in my roundup of the best dating sites for women over 50.
Here’s where I think smart, mature women should go online to find love.
Quality over quantity always wins.
9. Nail Your Dating App Profile and Prompts
Yes, your words matter. The way you answer online dating profile prompts tells people how self-aware and emotionally available you are.
Use help from the internet to figure out the prompts and practice writing your answers in advance.
Read thisfirst to be sure your answers are sending the right message to the right person, and attracting new potential partners who match your long-term relationship goals.
10. Take Fabulous Pictures
No blurry selfies, no sunglasses, no ex cropped out. Take fresh, joyful photos that look like you – your best you, your happiest, most well-lit you.
Ask friends to snap photos often so you always have something new to upload. This not only helps your dating algorithm but also boosts your confidence.
Do’s and don’ts about your profile pics here.
Do these 10 things, and you’ll feel it – you’ll feel ready. That’s when the right person shows up.
There’s no rush. So take a deep breath and settle into your new to-do list. 🙂
You’ve got the wisdom, experience, and self-awareness to create the healthy relationship you always wanted. And New Year’s is right around the corner.
I wish you every dream come true in 2026.
Let’s Have a Conversation:
How would you rate your preparedness to start dating again (0 being “not at all ready”; 5 being “bring it on”? How are you planning to approach the dating world in the new year?