Do you sometimes feel yourself growing grouchier and more irritable as the years go by? The body’s aches and pains and the woes of the world can make us all feel that way at some point as we age. Even the winter chill can negatively affect our mood.
When my spirit starts to sag, I hear Willie Nelson singing Toby Keith’s song, “Don’t Let the Old In.” For me, the old man in the song title represents the negativity and anxiety that sometimes try to take over my thoughts and feelings. My response is to take one or more of the following steps to reclaim my joie de vivre.
I invite you to try these steps yourself and see how they can shift your mood and put some strut back into your steps.
Listen to Music
Music is the all-time greatest mood shifter! As a therapist for older adults, I am amazed at how infrequently older people listen to music. One of my clients only listens once a week when she tunes into the opera that plays on her local radio station every Saturday afternoon at 1p.m. Some of my clients never think of music as a solution to their sadness or loneliness.
I believe we should be listening to music every day! I tell my clients that a day without music is like a day without sunshine. Music can make you laugh. It can make you shake your booty. It can even ease your spirit, by evoking tears that may desperately need to be shed.
Music’s benefits are limitless. It can reduce stress and anxiety. It triggers memories, giving us the opportunity to walk down memory lane with good times we’ve had and also with people we have lost. And it soothes us. Moreover, music has been shown to improve our alertness and cognitive functioning.
So put on a record. Turn on the radio. Tell Alexa to play your favorite tune or use your cellphone to tune into Apple Music or Spotify. You will be all the better for it.
Turn off the News
Turn off the drone of the 24-hour news cycle on the television. Move from the front pages of the newspaper to the living sections.
Yes, it is important to know what is going on in the world. But don’t make news your daily bread. It is not essential to spend hours of your day reading every detail or hearing talking heads shout at you over the airways about their particular point of view. Get the facts you need in order to shape your vote or your activism and then move on to doing what you can to build a better world. Too much engagement with the news can increase our anxiety and stress and can even result in depression.
Call a Friend
In his bestselling book, Together: The Healing Power of Human Connection in a Sometimes Lonely World, former Surgeon General Vivek Murthy writes about the importance of connection. Sharing personal experiences learned from his physician parents and from his own practice, Murthy tells us that we need the right mix of human relationships in order to be happy.
He suggests we should have an inner circle of intimate friends, a middle circle of friends, and an outer circle of casual acquaintances. Staying connected with these circles of relationships has positive effects on our mental and emotional states.
Robert D. Putnam, author of the blockbuster book Bowling Alone, appears in a new film, now streaming on Netflix. The documentary, Join or Die, makes the point that engaging in clubs and civic groups in our community can combat loneliness and lead to many benefits, including an increased lifespan. Remember, we are social creatures, and we need human connection. Call a friend. Even better; call a different friend or acquaintance each day and build those circles of connection.
Identify Your Purpose
The purpose you lived for and worked for when you were 20, 30, or 40 has likely changed. Perhaps you have fulfilled the dreams of your youth. Retirement, a grown family, and age may have shifted your sense of purpose.
If this is true for you, dream anew! The poet Pablo Neruda wrote, “Every day I awake from my dreams with a new dream.”
Maybe your new dream is to re-purpose your life by supporting other over-60-people who are less fortunate than you. Maybe after a lifetime of work, you can fully turn your attention to the next generations of your family. Helping your children – or your nieces and nephews – with their children can give you a new sense of purpose and joy.
Maybe you have shifted from your former line of work to earning money by painting or writing. Maybe you have set aside paid labor all together and are wondering what to do.
If you have stopped working, consider volunteering. I especially love the work senior citizens are doing in the Village to Village movement in which older adults come together to support one another in their communities, building connections and offering a helping hand. You can find a local village, or, if there isn’t yet a village in your hometown, you can start one, as a small group of neighbors and I did in Amherst, Massachusetts.
Build a Fun Routine
Anticipating good things is an excellent mood enhancer. Building joyful recurring activities into your weeks can build anticipation in the most positive way. A weekly mahjong or bridge game in pleasant company can make that day enjoyable every week and can put a smile on your face in the days leading up to it as you anticipate the laughter you will share and perhaps the win you will accomplish.
I’m a big fan of “date night.” If you have a partner, a regular date night can be so enjoyable. There is nothing like dressing up, getting out into the night air, and having a wonderful meal to spark your relationship. One of my friends has a weekly “date” with her sister, who recently lost her husband. They go to Mass on Saturday evening and follow that with dinner where they have a chance to talk, share and rebuild their connection as siblings.
Enjoy Comedy
Comedians are everywhere. You can simply look at YouTube, Netflix, Facebook reels or TikTok. You may already have a few favorite comedians. If you do, search for them on social media and follow them. If not, look around and identify a few.
One of my current favorite comedians is 72-year-old Andy Higgins, the king of one-liners. Listening to him makes me laugh at so many of my maladies, which at least confirms that I am not dead. Susan Rice makes me smile at her jokes and her “faked” doddering, and I love that she looks so fabulous.
Comedy also reduces the stress hormones and boosts the immune system. And because it stimulates the release of endorphins, it may even ease your pain – a least for a few moments.
Get Out of Dodge
Take a trip. Go away for the weekend. Rent an Airbnb two towns away and spend the weekend exploring.
Spend February (the shortest, darkest month in the Northern Hemisphere) in the Southern Hemisphere. Booking a cruise is easy enough to do. Or maybe even help your mood way in advance of the trip by eschewing the travel agent and spending your time in planning your trip, reading books, looking at websites and visualizing the feeling of sitting on the beach, maybe with a pina colada in hand.
Like everything worthwhile, lifting your mood requires some work. But the good news is that the work that brings smiles, laughter, happiness, and joy is fun and fulfilling in and of itself. Try it! And let me know which of these seven steps work best for you.
Let’s Have a Chat:
How do you lift your mood when irritation threatens to take over? What factors make you feel grouchy?