When any big life event comes round, Christmas, Easter, birthdays, anniversaries, it is easy to remember what we were doing on the same day last year, or many years ago.
Magical childhoods waiting for Santa to arrive, Easter egg hunting, unwrapping birthday presents, forever weddings. Of course, many of them are enhanced by the gift of young memories, perhaps a little exaggerated or wishful… but they are still our memories, and imaginings of times gone by.
Whatever plans we may make, sometimes life has plans of its own. Loving, close-knit relationships fall apart, people move, others change. We change. Life is always evolving and people – and relationships – change with it.
So, it is no surprise that relationships sometimes break down, and while some move on naturally, others cause a huge hole in our hearts and are difficult to recover from. Lost loves, estrangements from children, close friends who no longer communicate, siblings, who were once the most important people in our lives, feel so far away.
While, for many of us, Christmas is a time for happiness and merriment, for others it is a time of reflection and sadness.
Offering an Olive Branch
The holiday season is a great time to reach out to people that may be distant in your life. Perhaps a few words said in haste, a misunderstanding, a silly disagreement. Maybe you just lost touch and don’t know how to reconnect.
Offering an olive branch… extending a gesture of goodwill or harmony, is not a new thing. In fact, this symbol has roots in both Greek and Roman tradition, as olive trees were recognised as a sign of peace and prosperity.
How to Send Your Olive Branch
Today we are most likely to offer an olive branch in an email or telephone call, but there are many other ways. At this time of year, a Christmas card is always a good starting point. At Easter it could be an Easter card, or even an Easter egg, seen as a new beginning.
Perhaps you could send a real olive branch or even a tree, something tangible and memorable. The tree could be planted, and its growth could be symbolic of your renewed relationship. Of course, you could always deliver your olive branch through a hug, but consider how your recipient might receive it before you go. Sometimes, especially if the relationship has been deeply affected, a little distance might work best, at least initially.
Sending Yourself an Olive Branch
Sadly, sometimes relationships may be beyond repair. You may have tried to reconcile before and been rebuffed. The relationship may have been a toxic one, and caused you so much pain and turmoil, that reconciliation is not in your best interest.
Maybe then it is time to send yourself an olive branch. Be gentle with yourself, give your heart a chance to heal and time for peace to come back into your life. You may choose to leave the door a little open, or decide to close it forever.
Acceptance
In your heart you know how hard you tried. It may have been a painful experience, but perhaps this Christmas is a time for acceptance. Life is not over because one part is not how you would wish it to be.
Bring some harmony back into your life. Forgive those who have hurt you but also forgive yourself. Nothing in life is perfect, no relationship is without its difficulties, there is no one-size-fits-all.
Remember, next year you will remember this one. Give yourself the gift of peace this Christmas and have yourself a Merry Little Christmas.
Join the Conversation:
Have you offered an olive branch before? What did it take? Did it change your relationship?